Today's the day. I'd really rather not go, if it could be avoided, but this day hangs there like a zeppelin on the horizon. The other kids have already done this and had each other to get through it.This is my first visit to the house with out my dad being there. I wondered if I should have gone before now, maybe reality would have sunk in sooner. Maybe for the past month it would have been more real. But I didn't. Too many overwhelming things happened at once.
I offered to visit her the weekend after the funeral, but my stepmother had already made plans with her friend. After that the weeks slipped by and opportunity didn't come up again until this weekend.
St. Anne's , the Catholic church Dad attended, is performing a service in his memory. I have nothing against Catholics. I used to be one. I was raised one. But having moved on to a different kind of faith, I haven't been in their church for years. My step mother's devotion to her late husband is about the only reason that could get me in the door. And this service will come at the end of a day of God-knows-what.
They say being widowed suddenly does strange things to a woman. Some want to throw away everything, and some won't move one single thing. I have no idea where my step mom falls. Even if she's ready to begin parting with some of his belongings, am I ready to take them? Am I ready for the emotional fall-out of not borrowing them but inheriting them?
No comments:
Post a Comment