Tweaks and Rewrites

Jack Bunny found the PDF version of my recent
rewrite to Alyce Times One in his e-mail yesterday.


It's liberating and a little daunting to think about rewriting a full length play. A few scenes were a little spare and needed fattening, a few might've needed trimmed. But once I began it swept me away. The story barely pauses to let one catch their breath. I like that.


He wrote back that he was thrilled. And proud of me! (smile)

I always feel a little guilty when someone/anyone says kind things about something (in this case writing dialog) that's so easy for me. I think, how could I have sweat over this more? But I trusted his talent to direct and redirect where necessary and that he wouldn't let me screw up his Baby (play).


The pages open before me and draw me into the dialog. It becomes so real that I start recognizing what should be said. If they didn't say that, then I scribble in what sounds appropriate. As a writer mentor once said, "Make every word fight for it's life."


A few more punch lines, were added, a few less redundancies (hopefully) and a really powerful story just evolved, yet it remained true to the direction.

In the beginning of the second act, Scene two. Jack and Alyce Peterson are together and he's prodding her memory.
"What do you remember?"

I chose this after several less colorful options, mainly because it easily allowed blanks to be filled that clarified the last event from the first act and bridged to the final scene with out introducing any more characters.


I can't wait to see where it goes, or what happens next. Mr. Bunny's been getting that feeling like something amazing is about to happen. Now, I'm waiting to see the fruit from that tree!

We'll keep you in the loop about production as soon as we can cut it in stone. Wink wink!