Clouds and Dreaming


Three nights ago, I dreamt about the back of my dad’s head.
He and his wife were sitting in the pew in front of me.
Before the service was over, he had disappeared, and she sat in the row behind us.
I ponder again the strangeness of dreams.
Having flying dreams and paralysis dreams and wonder if
all of it is a sort of premonition via sleep.
Can our souls see the future?
Is the dream state really the cross roads where our soul
tries to communicate with our consciousness?
I’ve dreamt of being shot, although in a dream it is hard to tell if you die or not.
I didn’t attend my funeral.
But until lately, I only dreamt of a funeral once at 17, having never been to one.
Before he finally passed I had dreamt about my father dying
at least three times. They were years apart,
but disconcerting nonetheless.
I have never awakened from one not feeling depressed
and like I’d cried for a week.
I have even dreamt of a few close friends passing.
Such dreams just make me wonder if they mean anything.
I guess it’s a little like trying to read clouds for picture messages.
I mean, is that silly?

Don’t tell anyone, but I do that too.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have read many of your posts and think you are a wonderful writer. I often feel sad when I read the ones about the passing of your father. My father is still alive but I don't have pleasant thoughts about him like you do with yours. How very lucky you were to be loved and to have loved him so well. I guess not everyone is cut out to be a father.

Lefty Sloane said...

You know, you're right, not everyone is cut out to be a dad. I happen to know of a few even now. I think I know how you feel... my mom is maybe much like your dad? It just made me appreciate him and miss him all the more. Thank you for taking the time to write. I appreciate your honesty.

Anonymous said...

I like this one. Its thought provoking. Melancholy with out being a downer.

Lefty Sloane said...

Thanks