Pretty Is

This pretty little mite tickles me to no end.

When she has little buns on her head,

or pineapple hair.

She always keeps me guessing about the style dujour.

Can't wait to see what it will be like tomorrow...

All I Hear is the Silence

What do you think about when you wake up at night and it's so quiet?

All I hear is the silence and feel the peace. My thoughts come and go like tuning in a radio.

God's presence feels palpable when everyone sleeps and life energy drops to a low hum.

Sometimes I wish I could be awake to enjoy twilight more often. It's as though all the secrets of the world wait to be unlocked by the ones who stay up late pondering them.

I used to paint into the night listening to instrumental jazz. At that time, my second floor studio overlooked a parking lot guarded by a live oak hung with yards of spanish moss. I worked uninterupted from 11:00 p.m. until three a.m.

I'd change down the lights, have a glass of wine in a room illuminated by white twinkle lights. I'd stand at the window, winding down with my glass on the sill.

When I looked toward the north east, I'd see the lights of Jacksonville on the horizon. The air was full of promise, and I believed that anything was possible. My life could turn on a dime and change completely.

It still could.

Sometimes when I see people I haven't seen for a long time they'd say,

"Are you famous yet?" I always wondered where my life would lead, what it was people saw in me that wasn't in everyone else.

I still wonder.

From Now, Where

Ten Years from now, where will you be? How will you be traveling around?

Where Are You Going?

"Writing is mind traveling,

destination unknown."

Stevan Kalmon

Mind Travel

If you were here, in this photo, wher would you be? Where would you be going?
Who would you know?

Would you be heading to something, or leaving something behind?

If you lived here, what would be your greatest accomplishment? Your proudest moment?
Your greatest shame? What would you change? How would that change affect the rest of your life?

You are half way there already.

Chair

Now showing at Corner Frame Store on Sandusky Street in Delaware, Ohio.

Now Showing...

Several mosaics are showing @ the Corner Frame Store in Delaware, Ohio. (the two in the background.) The artist is showing several flat wall pieces including mirrors.

The 3 1/2 foot pedestal entitled Night Garden in entirely handmade porcelain tile and sculptural elements, with a wooden substructure. Night Garden is valued at 2.5k due to its one-off status.

The globe is a foot in diameter and made of porcelain sculptural elements, blue stoneware floor tile and NFS.

Kramden, Alice

One Foot in Two Lands

Amazingly the first place we looked at desktop computers had one available with XP! It isn't the Vista bandwagon that everyone has been jumping on, and I have very good reasons for not wanting my desktop to be Vista. Even thought a new desktop with a VOS is comparable and comes with more geegaws (and a fat operating system to boot) an exapnded system with XP is a lot more room.

I still have programs that were geared for XP. And we weren't really ready to give those up. I'm not really ready to have my laptop become the editing center for all the photos we take ( and recently lost ) because photos hog so much space. I estimate that we take close to a thousand pictures a year between me and Sam.

I'm not in a hurry to break in yet another computer. But I will be. I'm not over that last one. I feel thankful knowing that there's still an great XP to be had.

After talking to the tech it's apparent the only thing to be done is run a system restore. Even though I agonize over this, we agree it's for the best. I don’t want him to walk me through. I open the two disc set and sliding one in the computer is like spoon feeding medicine to an unsuspecting toddler. It goes in and you wait for the reaction.

On the monitor a blue screen comes up first. Not the right shade of blue to be the blue screen of death, but I feel myself pale nonetheless. I hope it isn’t an omen of things to come. I face that whatever was there is now forever lost. What will be gained is the focus.

It’s like moving. You can start completely over. In your new city you have no history. You’re a clean slate. You get a brand new life. It wouldn’t be much different if I bought a brand new PC. I’m still getting a squeaky clean beginning. Only now, the computer will have more memory. I have become attached to my computer, named the Intelligence Center.
Recovering a PC feels a little like Men in Black using the amnesia inducing laser.
The monitor shows the Intelligence Center racing through all the files, then asks for disc 2. While recopying, most of the files I see are not ones I entered.
When the effort reaches 66% finished, my computer’s becoming so new it may not remember me. It blinks at 100% still running the disc at warp speed, sucking down files like a starving dog wolfs down kibble.

It requests the first disc again. I reinsert one and watch all the files from XP pour in alphabetically. I almost have a sense of going back in time…
When it fires up again (?) I wonder what it will think the date is?
Streaming by so much code, my head could explode. Less than one minute remaining has been on the screen for three minutes. Total time 20 minutes searching for user data and settings.

"To restart press control alt delete." I comply. Restart. Open up. Work, be the happy spunky machine I know you can be. It shuffles through it’s beginnings.
"To restart press control alt delete." No...
"To restart press control alt delete."
"To restart press control alt delete."
I comply four, six... ten more times then I stop.
We are strangers to each other. My machine has been lobotomized.

Quotes

"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't."
Mark Twain

Hospice for PC

I've been up to my elbows in circuitry and error codes and IM's trying to help me with my ailing desk top. But alas, it's reached motherboard-arrest and exhibits all the signs of a coma. It will either go to the hospital or be replaced. I think it depends on the cost of repair. I think it depends on if I really want to break in my 12th desktop computer...

Does a place exist where people go to grieve the loss of computer files? I'm considering the brain transplant:having the hard drive recovered... This will be the first time I've actually had to put a PC in the care of a shop.

At any rate, I've not been ignoring you.

It's just...trying to nurse a hacking PC back to excellent took more out of me than just plugging in new memory chips. And so far, I have failed miserably.

End of Days

When you reach the end
Of their days, is it enough
To hold you till Heaven?

Character

Quoted from anonymous in Post Secret:

"The most important thing I realized lately is that painful break ups, unrequited love and s----y jobs and the like help us to build character and that no matter how bad it feels, we are much better off because of it."

Looking for A Sign

If you're looking for a sign, this is it..................

DO IT!

It will be amazing.

~~~

Coffee with Dad

I'd taken the last of Dad's old books to sell. I have to say, this place had enough books-in-waiting to start another store, which told me I probably wouldn't be getting much for my half-dozen.

They called my name and made an offer that was the equivalent of two cups of coffee and a tip. Slightly insulted, I decided to take the offer, because I thought this might be Dad's way of treating my daughter and me to coffee.
I talked to my her about it and we decided that the next time we stopped for coffee, Dad was buying.

Later in the evening, in one of our favorites haunts, Barnes and Noble, we stood at the Starbucks counter ordering half-and-half venti's. When we got them, we both said thanks to Dad and sat at a little round table perusing interesting books we might buy.

I paged through a thick magazine size book of Post Secrets. It started as a comunity art project where people made postcards regarding a secret they've been carrying around, things they can't seem to say aloud, or to the person they want to tell. Some have been carrying these burdens for years--decades even-- and they send them to an address. Since it's inception lf less than five years, the creator of the concept has received more than 150,000 postcards from around the world. He published them in a volume of which, there are three. He also has a site: postsecret.com . ( I can't vouch for the purity of this site or its language. Look at your own risk.)

Many of them touched me, but one in paricular really got to me. When the writer's father died she was disturbed that she had not dreamt about him since. She wanted him to tell her he was alright. She happened to mention it to a friend, and that night, she had a lovely dream about him holding her face, telling her he was fine. Yeah....I'm feeling the first part of that one.

I'm saving the paper sleeve and dating it so I can remember having coffee with Dad this way.

While I looked at books, I felt particularly drawn to "God Will Make a Way" by Townsend and Cloud. It's practically a writing prompt book. I loved the questions which are designed to get one thinking, realizing and begin healing.
So we each got one.

Thanks, Dad. Coffee and Advice. You're the best.

Day One

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EGAN!!!

Congrats to my brother Alan's who became a grandfather

when his youngest son,

Robert Alan became a proud father

July 17th!

Body Blues

Are you at peace with your body?


If you could change one thing about it, what would it be?


When is the last time you were happy with the way you looked?



Who are you comparing yourself to?



I don't have all the answers. Somedays, just more questions.

Take the poll and see how your answers compare with others.

Dental Detour

I went with Gordo to his dentist appointment today. It turned into surgery which turned into an all day. I brought the laptop and finished two essays. There was no wireless service available, and the interview is on another computer, so we are running slightly behind today.
Gordo's face is iced down, feet up and taking his meds and taking it easy. I'm waiting to see if he swells or gets a black eye. (I'll tell ya later if he makes up a wild story on how I gave it to him -- the big kidder!) I think he'll be up and around by the weekend.

I.I. Thanks for the transcription website! I'm really looking forward to checking that out! I thank you and JB for your input on the body image subject. I'll be working on the mag queries tomorrow...well, that's the plan.

Afterglow

The interview with Rosanne was the highlight of my evening. After down loading it into the computer, Samantha and I listened to the whole thing together. It was really great, sharing a mother daughter moment.

I think that Rosanne gave me a lot of great material to work with and I just want to do right by her. Tomorrow hopefully get it transcribed and queries finished.

When women start taking their power back, instead of wasting energy on striving for some ideal perfection, a lot of things could change in this country...

My Cartoon World

I think it's always a little strange to see myself in the newpaper, even if it is
a photo shopped cartoon version of me.
This is from the Delaware Art's Festival ad.

Shrinkage

I always feel better about myself after working out. Given the choice, why would I rather sit here like a lump? It’s harder to make myself exercise when I have such a wide range of justifications: I eat healthy food, I feel pretty good, I have good health, I carry it well.
No one believes me when I tell them what I weigh. It’s as though I wear lead shoes or something..
But carrying it is tiresome. After last night’s discussion with several writers regarding female body image I wonder about getting sucked into a dieting game. Am I seeking a better looking body? The answer is honestly no, because looking like a million bucks, and having the guys turn their heads when I walk into the room doesn’t drive me.  I saw a nutritionist. She had no problem quoting to me from a book she’s currently reading: “At our age, everyone can stand to lose 20 pounds, so just do it.”
While my diet is 80-85% foods that are healthy, in less than ten minutes she pinpointed the true reason I'm not getting any smaller.
“You need to get moving. Him, half an hour a day and you, an hour. To lose weight.” She never faltered.
WHAT?
I didn’t go home and work out that day. I thought about it. Her words sank in a little more and a little more until I realized, it’s pretty much now or never. The longer I wait the more painful it will be. I recruited an extra accountability person. I hope that we can all encourage each other to be a size healthier.

Mind Blowing Winds of Change

At 4$ a gallon for gas are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Are you thinking of new ways to heat your house, run your lawn mower, fill your car?

What will you sacrifice to maintain the status quo? Have we done this long enough?

Are we just talking ecology & conservation? Have me maximized all our options? What do you think about wind power? What do you think about solar power? Could it work?

Even though we squawk about the overhauling of systems to accommodate alternative energy measure, have you considered what we'll have to do if we can't get enough fuel? And what will the over haul cost us then?

Will it work? Are we ready to make a change?

Are you ready? Pickensplan.com

Temptation

The trouble with temptation

is that it may not

come again.

Unknown

Vaca or Stayca?

Going on Vacation
or stay-cation this year?
By air, land or sea?
If you could go anywhere, and knew you would get home, money were no obstacle and barring any unforseen circumstances...
where would your heart lead you? Where would your itchy feet take you? What would your wandering eyes want to see?

Lost and Found

A friend of mine posted a story about someone he was once very close to.
See it here: In Xanadu.

I hear a lot of people say they have someone from their past that they often wonder about.

I've traveled pretty far. South and North again. I've met and lost a lot of people in 47 moves. People that I haven't been able to find. Maybe they don't want found.

I became a bit of an investigator and found a dozen or so old friends. They were all surprised to hear from me. And once I heard from someone (an x) who surprised me. Even though I can carry on a conversation as well as anyone, when I thought about calling some of them again, I didn't know what we'd talk about. It was as if the word well had run dry.

Our interests had changed dramatically. The stepping stones we shared in that brief crossing had taken us to other destinations. At the time, we didn't know or share where we were headed. But now we were there, like standing on opposite shores, shouting across the rushing water.

We didn't work in the same fields or live where we'd first met and now had nothing in common. Aside from a conversation about our current lives, there semed nothing to pursue. It's like revisiting memories. It's a nice break, but you can't go back in time.

So they slipped again into the past.
And so did I.

The Glass Woman Prize

I just submitted an creative non-fiction piece to The Glass Woman Prize.

If you've never heard of it, check it out by clicking here:

GlassWoman

The contest runs until September 21st,

and the grand prize is 600$.

In this economy, that's gas money.

Words to Live By

"There is no great writing,

only great rewriting."

~ Justice Brandeis

Quotes

Those who are

at war with themselves

Cannot be at peace

with others.

Unknown

Knock-Knock

A friend of mine wrote recently about strangers knocking at the door. As I read his story I was reminded of several others. One woman and her room mate used to hide behind furniture, terrified to open the door. She said she'd learned it from her father who panicked every time the doorbell rang.

A guy I knew used to invite people in, even Jehovah's Witnesses, because he liked to debate with them.

I don't let strangers in unless they are fixing something or cleaning my carpets, and occasionally a woman might seem okay. When I lived in the city, I was very leery of going near the door if I wasn't expecting someone. Because I live in rural country side, I'm currently not (too) afraid to answer the door.

In fact, two days ago when the doorbell rang it was the mailman with a package. YAY!! Usually it's the pizza man, sometimes it's kids in the neighborhood asking my daughter to VBS. Until they saw she was a big kid.

Once it was a teenage door to door salesman that I didn't want to talk to, but instead of saying so, I told him when Gordo would be there. When he bravely returned, I wasn't there but Gordo was. He found out the young man was selling home education software, specifically, ACT/SAT discs. Since he thought my high school age daughter would be interested, he asked the salesman back.

And we met again-- and bought the software.

The salesman was from Montana and going to college in the fall. His uncle was a screen writer, the salesman had a MySpace page and that he worked for the Southwest Book company.

Gordo had just bought a book "the book of wisdom" which referenced the Southwest Book Company. He'd bought two copies and gave this young man one when he returned with our software.

Today when I answered the door, little neighbor girls were advertising their lemonade stand. Normally I wouldn't pay 50 cents for a half glass of anything let alone a sugar sweetened drink.

But we have to encourage the next generation of entrepreneurs.

When life knocks at the door, at least look through the peep hole. You never know, life comes with fun surprises too.

Cool Cool Cool

Once, I went to school with a guy who always said, "Cool" to everything. One day I was telling my dad about him. He laughed his head off at the kid who always said, " Cool." Sometimes to be funny, my Dad would go around saying,

"cool, cool, cool."

If you're hotter than the 4th of July

here's the coolest photo I could find.

Hope you're chillaxin' on your holiday.